Much better

Yesterday was a terrible day but after some tears and prayers, I feel better. It's always darkest just before the dawn. :)

FINISHED!

I am SOOOO not telling anyone anything EVER AGAIN!! They just stab ya in the back with their own stupid advice and CRAP that isn't true! I'm so sick of the whole stinking world being AGAINST ME!! I'm so finished! I'm finished telling anyone anything. I guess I'll just have to rely on this blog to do my venting. Blah! I hate everything. End of story.

Defeat

I just feel tired. I'm tired of trials. I know we're not supposed to be given anything more than we're able to handle but I'm feeling differently about that lately. I want to cry but I can't. My chest feels tight and I feel like I'm having a hard time breathing. I feel defeated. I feel "finished". I'd like to get in the car and drive away and never come back. I know I can't do that because of my daughter. I'd never do that to her. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing it. I want to make my husband happy but I feel like I'll never do that either. He'll never be happy. I know that I can't change people, they're responsible for themselves. He's bored and frustrated, he told me last night. We'll never have enough money to make ends meet. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to sit in my bed and let Sierra watch tv all day. I'm a terrible mother. How can I be a good mommy when all I do is let her watch tv for hours while I feel sorry for myself and my lot in life.